Religious Views

Is there a God?

I've frequently asked myself this question. For most, there is no doubt that there is some sort of supreme being guiding our lives and waiting to transcend us into the next life. After being diagnosed with cancer, it seems people expect me to believe in God. They send me prayers and tell me that prayer will save me, or it won't but that it doesn't matter since God is waiting for me in heaven. No matter how it turns out, God will be the answer, even though I feel the question was not directed to Him.

For a long time, I've doubted that there is a God. How could there be? An omnipotent being of love could not condemn me to a death by a painful disease. They tell me anger with God is to be expected. I tell them there can't be anger at something I don't believe in. There's just anger.

Luckily, God can be whoever you want Him to be, and He seems to be okay with this and doesn't complain. So I decided that God is not as involved as Christians make Him out to be. He is there, but He does not weep when we sin, or even really care. The point of His existence is to watch the game of Life unfold and throw a little confetti when we transcend into that next life and find our own piece of joy. Maybe He gets a little sad as He watches entropy creep in, but in the end, He's happy because He knows things that we do not.

I would like you to know that my anger with God has subsided. I've excepted His presence and His lack of fault for my current condition. It's nice to have that inner conflict resolved. It means I can accept people's prayers, and maybe pass on a few of my own, and know that God will listen, nod of his head, and maybe send a reply...